this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
