when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
