I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
