dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
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Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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