Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
