i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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