Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
