Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
