Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
