ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
