you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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