I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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