I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
