Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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