Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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