I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Be still, my beating vagina.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
