I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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