So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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