so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
