I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
