I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Green mimosas i think yes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
