found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
