why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am one with the molecules
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
