At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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