spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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