Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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