So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
