She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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