i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
