after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
