Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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