i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
