And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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