With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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