another moral hangover. fuck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
