Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
