i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
