But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
