SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
