did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
