It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
