You really coming over, don't trick.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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