Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Randomize
