My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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