my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
