You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
