just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
