I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
