I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
two words: eviction party
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize