I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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