What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
