I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
