fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
