It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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