fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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