we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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