Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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