Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know her cup size but not her name....
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