I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
