Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
