Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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