Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
