...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
