i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
